You know that feeling when you’re running on empty? You check all the boxes by showing up at work. You are there for your family and serve at church. You do all the things you’re supposed to do. Yet, something’s missing?

You’re exhausted. Resentful even. Going through the motions.

What if I told you the problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough? What if the problem is that you’re doing it all from the wrong place?

We All Lost Something in the Garden

When God created Adam, He created him perfect – fully alive, fully connected, fully confident in who he was. Adam walked with God. He had purpose. He was unashamed. Free. He knew who he was because he knew whose he was.

Then came the fall.

The moment Adam sinned, everything changed. He hid. He covered himself. He blamed his wife. He blamed God. In that instant, Adam lost his confident identity as God’s son. He lost his connection. He lost his heart.

And every man since has inherited that same wound.

We’ve all learned to hide our true selves. We’ve all learned to perform. We’ve all constructed some version of a false self to get by in this world. It’s the self that appears to have it all together. It’s the self that doesn’t need help. It’s the self that can handle anything.

But underneath? We’re wounded. We’re disconnected. We’re living smaller lives than we were created for.

The Performance Trap

Here’s the trap most men fall into: we try to fix it by doing more.

We read the books. We learn the principles. We attend the conferences. We commit to being better husbands, better fathers, better leaders. And there’s nothing wrong with any of that.

Except when we’re doing it all from that broken, striving place. Still performing. Still trying to prove we’re enough. Still hiding our real struggles while we check off the boxes of what a good man should be.

And what happens?

We burn out. We grow resentful. We go through the motions of living out our faith. We build our families and lead at work. We serve our communities, but we’re doing it from an empty tank.

It becomes duty, not love. Performance, not overflow. Obligation, not joy.

The Truth That Changes Everything

Here’s what hit me like a freight train recently:

Recovering your heart isn’t selfish. It’s the most unselfish thing you can do.

Think about it. You can’t give what you don’t have.

If your heart is still hidden or wounded, you are still striving for approval. Then, everything you give to your wife, your kids, your work, and your community comes from an empty place.

But when you recover your heart? When you learn to receive the Father’s love? When you hear His voice about who you really are? When you learn to live from that secure place as His beloved son?

Then you have something real to give.

Then you can love from a place of fullness rather than emptiness.

Serve from strength instead of depletion.

Lead from identity instead of insecurity.

The story of your life? It’s not about you. It’s about what you can give to others. But you can only give what you’ve received. You can only pour out what’s been poured in.

What a Kingdom Man Really Looks Like

A Kingdom Man isn’t just someone who knows the right things and does the right things.

A Kingdom Man is a man whose heart is alive and connected to the King. Who hears the Father’s voice. Who knows who he is as a beloved son. And from that place – that secure, received identity – he can actually fulfill his kingdom purpose.

This isn’t about adding more should to your already overwhelming list. This isn’t about trying harder or doing more.

This is about transformation from the inside out.

You’re getting your heart back so you can give yourself away properly. You can become the man God designed you to be. It is not another performance. It is an overflow of who you are in Him.

What This Journey Looks Like

So how do you actually recover your heart? Here’s what it requires:

1. Honesty About Where You Really Are

Stop pretending. Stop hiding behind the mask of having it all together. Ask God to show you where your heart is still wounded, still striving, still hiding. Be willing to see the truth about yourself – not to condemn yourself, but to find healing.

2. Vulnerability With Other Men

You can’t do this alone. You need other men who will let you be real. Who won’t judge you for your struggles. Who will speak truth to you about who you really are in Christ. Find those men. Tell them the truth. Let the masks come off.

3. Learning to Receive, Not Just Achieve

This is the hardest part for most men. We’re wired to perform, to achieve, to earn. But the Father’s love can’t be earned. His acceptance can’t be achieved. You have to learn to receive. To hear His voice. To let His truth about who you are sink deeper than all the lies you’ve believed.

4. Progress, Not Perfection

This isn’t about getting your act together overnight. It’s about taking the next step. Being a little more honest. A little more vulnerable. A little more open to receiving what God wants to give you. Progress, not perfection. Growth, not arrival.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

A man with a healed heart has the power to change everything around him.

Your family needs you. They need not the exhausted, resentful version of you that’s running on fumes. Instead, they need the alive, connected, whole version of you. This is the version that can actually love them from fullness.

Your workplace needs you. It does not need the guy who’s just grinding it out. It needs the man who leads from secure identity. He brings life to those around him.

Your community needs you, but not as another burned-out volunteer. It needs a man who serves from overflow. Someone who actually has something real to give.

The kingdom of God needs you. It needs men whose hearts are alive and who are connected to the King. These men can actually advance His purposes because they’re not stuck trying to prove their own worth.

The Question

So here’s the question:

Are you tired of running on empty?

Are you ready to stop performing and start receiving?

Are you willing to put in the hard work to recover your heart? Do it not for yourself, but for everyone who needs what only you can give them.

This won’t be easy. It will require vulnerability you’re not used to. Honesty that feels risky. Faith that God’s voice about who you are is more true than all the other voices you’ve been listening to.

But it’s worth it.

Because a Kingdom Man with a healed heart doesn’t just change his own life. He changes everything around him.

Not for himself.

For others.

That’s the journey. That’s the invitation.

Are you in?

Can I assist or join you on this journey?

If this message resonated with you and you’d like to connect, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Whether you’re looking for guidance, accountability, or simply want to talk with someone who understands this journey, reach out.